Can You Move Across the Country with 3 Teenagers? November 09, 2018 14:48
The short answer to this is a resounding YES YOU CAN!
How this all started….
For years, my husband and I talked about moving off the east coast. We both grew up in the area, moved away for college, but then, like so many people from the tri-state area do, came back to ultimately settle in NYC. But why? There’s a whole world out there! After college, I felt like I had to start my life, climb the corporate ladder and live a life like just about everyone else I knew. There were some people who did things differently, but I was so not there. Over the years, I started traveling more and wanting to see the world. My attitude started changing and that ultimately lead me/us to do what we did.
We had our kids and moved to a lovely suburban town near where I had grown up. We had great friends and we lived near our families. Life was comfortable. Life was fun. I’d say that life was really good. But I’m not a person who is satisfied with good. I get antsy, curious and my desire for change starts to creep in. When your kids are young, things are very exciting. They go through so many different phases and changes. That kept me on my toes for a long time. I had also started a business which kept me very engaged, and so I didn’t feel that need for a change for many years.
It wasn’t all puppy dogs and rainbows. In terms of New York City, Andrew and I were both fed up. Most days, he was spending about 2 hours commuting, and it seemed that every time I tried to go to the city, I sat in hours of traffic. Life was expensive, our house, taxes, food, entertainment, kids’ activities, etc. I found myself not going in to NYC because of the inconvenience of actually getting there and the expense of whatever it was I was did once I was there.
I also started to think about how long we had been saying we wanted to move out of the area. Andrew always had that feeling because he just doesn’t love the vibe, and I because of my wanderlust and need for change. I kept thinking to myself “what if I look back in another 5 years and we’re still here?”. It’s easy to take the path of least resistance, but that’s not the life I want to live. I want to make bold choices. And when I look back, I want to know that I didn’t live small, that I went for it, I took risks and really lived life. It’s also the example I want to set for my kids.
So one day, I said to my husband verbatim: “Let’s just do this! If we don’t do it, we’re never going to do it.”
In other words, there was never really going to be a “good time” for us to move away. If we had moved when the kids were younger, the grandparents would have missed out on lots of quality time with them. Now, my father had cancer. There had always been and there would always be some reason NOT to move, to keep us where we were. And with that logic, we would have stayed for forever. So we just decided we were going to do it. And after that, we figured out the steps we needed to take to make it happen.
The most major things on our list were selling our house and Andrew finding a job since he’s the primary breadwinner. There’s nothing I like less than being told “NO”, but without these 2 items checked off our list, we simply could not move. We have 3 kids going off to college within 4 years, and I knew that we couldn’t be irresponsible about this undertaking. We also asked our kids if they were up for this move. I’m not sure how I got such adventurers, but remarkably all 3 were up for it. If any, or probably if even just 1 of them, had been opposed, I’m not sure what we would have done. Luckily it wasn’t something we had to deal with. Luckily, that was not a bridge we had to cross.
This was out house that we had to sell. In my next post, you'll see the "after-we-got-the-house-ready-to-put-on-the-market" shot